Scattered reflections on fatherhood:
I like being a dad. I think I’m good at it. And I think Omri is really great.
I notice different things. My friends are mostly childless and it’s strange to move in the world differently than them.
I notice whether bathrooms have changing tables now.
I look for kids and parents when I’m out and about, and smile at them when I do. If Omri is there — they light up. If not, they often don’t realize what’s up and don’t smile back.
Any time longer than 1 hour to focus on a task is precious.
Any time the baby is in the room, and I’m not looking at him and interacting with him, I feel bad.
The thought of traveling is much more daunting.
A casual night out went from “oh we can get $15 tickets to the event and subway there” turns into “wow, we have One Night free. We need to pay the babysitter $$$, so we might as well take a taxi to minimize travel time.”
The baby makes me softer and happier. Less angry. Less in-the-news, more in-the-room. Just a bit, for now.
I like how he looks at me. It makes me want to be a better person.
It’s just getting started. I can tell (I can guess?) I will feel things like this, but stronger — and other changes I can’t predict — when he’s just a little older.
I miss sleep.
